Are you tired?

Yes, I'm EXHAUSTED

I created a module for a training programme on “Leadership and Wellbeing” a few months back. I did it in the evenings while getting the kids fed, watered and ready for bed. I did it in the mornings while juggling contracts and deadlines. I delivered it in-person after doing my make-up in the car.
And I have some thoughts on what wellbeing actually means for women.

We need a Wellbeing Revolution

Leadership is still defined by exhaustion. Especially for women. We celebrate resilience while hiding burnout. We admire high-performers who run on empty. We look at others thinking “why can’t I do as much as them?” But this version of leadership is broken. It’s a lie. And it's costing us more than we realize. It's time to start telling the truth: wellbeing is not a nice-to-have. It’s a necessity. It's a strategy. And it's also a rebellion.

Redefining Leadership for Women

Women are not just playing the leadership game; we're expected to rewrite the rules while we're at it. We navigate old power structures that weren’t built for us, all while carrying the weight of emotional labour, caregiving and society’s double standards and trying to create a better way for the next generation.

Leadership, as it stands, demands that women be everything to everyone. And still stay composed. With perfectly manicured nails.

That is some weight to carry.

Are Female Leaders Feeling Well?

Women leaders are burning out in silence. The pressure to perform, to always be “on,” to “look good” (see my recent post on the real cost of doing business as a woman) and to outwork the system is relentless. Many organizations champion wellbeing in theory but rarely in practice. And straw poll - how many men are actually behind the wellbeing initiatives being organised? How many men are in charge of booking lunchtime yoga for the sales department or a reflexology session for the team-building day? In fact, how balanced are the HR, People and Culture Departments in general? Behind closed doors, women are questioning how long they can keep going. They’re exhausted, disillusioned and isolated.

Wellbeing as a Leadership Strategy

Wellbeing is not about yoga and green juice and supplements. It’s a little bit about them yes. But it’s really about capacity. Clarity. Boundaries. It’s the foundation of sustainable, high-impact leadership. That’s what we need to create: space for women to set, create and maintain boundaries. When women leaders are well, their energy is unmatched. They build healthier teams. They make braver decisions. They vibrate, they buzz, they radiate. And they don’t perform leadership. They embody it.

Systemic Shifts: Within Companies

The responsibility of wellbeing cannot rest on individual women alone (we are too goddamn tired!). Organizations must build systems that support human leadership. That means rethinking success metrics, investing in psychological support and dismantling performative wellness programs that don’t address root causes. Inclusive ways of working (see Anna Whitehouse on this), flexible ways of working, parenting “out-loud”, creating spaces for “thinking” and not just “doing” - we need to see more of this being baked into roles and workplaces and company policies and dynamics.

The Paradox of Self-Employment and Wellbeing

And for the self-employed, the freelance, the contractors - wellbeing is not an overpriced gym membership you have no time to use. It is sitting with yourself and asking what you want - from life, from parenting, from work, from relationships - and building structures that protect each and every one of them. Only want to work a 3-day week? Make it happen. Hard-stop for school pick-up? Build your processes, pricing and procedures to reflect that.

To the women reading this: stop. Just stop. Take a second. Take stock of what you actually need, rather than what’s expected. Prioritize your wellbeing like your leadership depends on it. Get comfortable saying no. Acknowledge that “down-time” is a part of your working week.

To organizations: evolve or be left behind. Watch the talent, knowledge and skills drain if you refuse to invest in change. Research the four-day working week. Have meaningful dialogues with your senior leaders. Remember that “busy” isn’t success. Being productive is.

Wellbeing can be the key to performance. But we need to slow down to speed up. And don’t get me wrong. Men are feeling this to. Everyone is. So let’s all start talking a little louder about our boundaries and our capacities. And if we’re feeling good, maybe we can start advocating on behalf of those who can’t advocate for themselves.

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